Well, I moved home to Oregon 3 weeks ago today, and I can't even explain how good it feels. I was really nervous to come back for a multitude of reasons, but as scary as it was, I did it, and I think it was exactly what my heart and soul needed. I feel like a different person here. I'm happier, more positive, and more motivated to get back to the life I had before. I'm settling back into my routine (as much as I can when I'm not in school and my mom is staying with us), and I'm picking up some of my old hobbies again, like gardening and taking my dogs on forest walks. It's amazing how different the energy is here; Reno was my place of illness, and Corvallis is my place of health. I'm not saying I'm done struggling, because I most definitely am not, but I feel like my mindset is totally different now. So, I'm going to tell you what I've been up to recently, but first I want to share a few of my accomplishments. They may seem small, but to me they're a pretty big deal:
- I've been sleeping without socks on! And for that matter, I've been walking around barefoot a lot more. I haven't slept without socks on since last July because my feet feel too creepy and weird, and it was definitely an adjustment, but I'm now able to sleep sans socks.
- I've been showering standing up. By myself. Without holding on. It's amazing how much easier it is to shower when you're not stuck in a little plastic shower chair. I lose my balance sometimes, especially when I close my eyes, but if I just hold the wall for a second I do just fine.
- I can put my pants on while standing up. I used to have to sit down to put on my pants and socks and shoes, but I'm not strong enough to stand on one foot long enough to get my other leg into my pants.
- I've taken my dogs for 5 small hikes in the forest. They've been under 2 miles each and on fairly flat ground, but they were still a good amount of activity, and it felt awesome to get out in the forest again.
- I ran on the beach! Ok, it was only for a few seconds, but hey, a month ago I couldn't run at all. I'm sure I looked like a zombie chasing its prey, but oh well. I was pretty proud of myself.
Ok, now that I got that out of the way, here's what I've been doing the past couple weeks...
After I flew up to Oregon on May 6th, I had four days of just Brandon and me before my mom came up. We went on a couple hikes, watched a couple movies, and just hung out together. The first two nights I slept SO good! I think I slept through the night without getting up once. It was amazing. I had to take both my dogs to the vet to get their vaccines, which was a complete disaster, but I won't get into that right now.
Then my mom and Ed drove up with all my stuff on Saturday. They got here early in the afternoon with all my boxes of stuff that I accumulated over the past year, which is surprisingly a lot. Just a little side note: it's been 3 weeks, and I still haven't unpacked my boxes. Unfortunately, Ed had to turn around and head back to Reno the next day, but my mom got to stay with us for a week. Let's see if I can remember everything we did... We did a lot of work in the yard, planting stuff, cleaning up, and just hanging out. We went to breakfast and to a Japanese garden for Mother's Day. We hit up a few garage sales. We attempted to organize some of my clothes and shoes. We took the dogs on a couple hikes. We went to a lot of doctor appointments. We toured the vet school. We took the dogs to the beach. And I'm sure there's more that I'm missing because it seemed like we were really busy the whole time.
The doctor appointments were sort of interesting, so here's a little bit about them:
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| Japanese gardens for Mother's Day |
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| Japanese gardens for Mother's Day |
The doctor appointments were sort of interesting, so here's a little bit about them:
- First we met with my new GP named Jodi Sorenson, who is actually a nurse practitioner. I felt kind of bad for her because I totally just bombarded her with my crazy medical history and medications and everything, and I think she was really overwhelmed and didn't know what to do. We spent probably an hour talking to her about everything, and she pretty much just said, "Well, you know your case better than anyone, so it's up to you to let me know what you need," which is fine because the point was just to get established with someone in case something happens. At least now I have someone to fill my prescriptions up here. She also referred me to a pain management doctor and a rheumatologist up here, so maybe they'll have some more insight for me.
- Next we met with my new GI doctor named Kristen Reeve, who is actually a physician's assistant also. She was also fairly overwhelmed with my case, but she was also really helpful as far as trying to work with me to figure out some of my issues. She set me up an appointment with the dietician in her office, and she ordered some stool samples to hopefully figure out this diarrhea I've had for almost a year. The stool samples... oh my god. I haven't done them yet because they're so ridiculous. Warning: if you are squeamish about poop, skip to the next section. I went to the lab to pick up the kit, and they gave me this gigantic bag filled with plastic tubs, cups, toilet seat hats, bags, you name it. I had no idea it was going to be so intense. Apparently there's 4 different tests they're running, and they all have their own protocol. Three of them are just putting some stool into some plastic jars, but the stool has to be completely liquid, and I have to get it back to the lab within 24 hours. The fourth test is the worst one. It's a 72-hour collection, so for 3 days I have to poop into the same jar while maintaining a 100 grams of fat per day diet. The worst part? In between bathroom visits I have to keep the jar in the fridge... with my food... gross. Now you see why I haven't done these tests yet? Well hopefully once I get around to doing them they'll be able to tell me something about why I'm having these issues.
My stool sample test kit - My next appointment was with the disability office on campus. We met with a really nice woman who talked with me a little bit about what accommodations I will need for school and how we're going to handle it. It was a nice break from explaining my whole medical history to someone because she basically just wanted to know what I needed to succeed and not necessarily what my problems were. We agreed that sending a letter to my professors outlining my restrictions would be helpful as well as having flexible attendance requirements. That doesn't mean I can just skip school whenever I want. It means that if I have to leave for a doctor appointment or if I'm really sick, I won't be penalized for the time I missed. I don't think these disability accommodations with completely solve my challenges with school, but it's at least nice to know that I have some backup if something does go wrong.
- My last appointment for the week was with the dietician. It was sort of overwhelming because I have so many issues, and there's so many different approaches to handling them. It's a lot of trial and error, which I've been doing myself unsuccessfully for the past 6 months. We came to the decision that I should try a gluten free diet to hopefully help with my arthritis/autoimmune issues, and I should also do something called a low-FODMAP diet to help with my diarrhea. FODMAPs are certain carbohydrates that can cause bowel irritation in large quantities, so I have to avoid a lot of different foods. I wanted to wait until after I got back from North Carolina to start these diets, so today is just day 2, and I already hate it. Combined with my special diet for my bowel obstruction, I can't eat anything! I'm going to have to rely heavily on different meats, which I'm not too happy about. The only good thing is that certain kinds of chocolate are still allowed, which I'm already eating at 9 am.
- That's all the appointments I've have so far, but in the next couple weeks I'll be meeting with several other doctors, including a cardiologist, a rheumatologist, a pain management doctor, and an actual gastroenterologist. So much fun!
That's about it for my first couple weeks back in Oregon. My dad came down from Canada on Sunday to watch our dogs while we went to North Carolina. Monday morning he drove my mom, Brandon, and I to the airport to catch our respective flights. My mom flew home to Reno all by herself! If you don't know, my mom has this horrible phobia of flying, and up until February of this year, she hadn't been on a plane in over 20 years. But she seems to have overcome her fear, and I'm really proud of her. Now she can fly to Portland to visit more often!
It's really crazy how fast life goes. Day to day it seems like nothing is changing and time is standing still, but when you look back, it's incredible how different your life is. Less than a year ago I was on a care flight from Quincy to Reno to have emergency surgery, and no one knew if I was going to survive or not. Now here I am, home in Oregon with my husband, about to start my last year of school. I can't believe it.
I survived.
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